


Pain Killers

by AllusionToReality



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-04-06 12:35:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4221960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllusionToReality/pseuds/AllusionToReality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your soul mate is the only one who can hurt you. In a painless society, only the lucky ones experience the most tragedy, the most emotion. Some say they are the only ones to truly live.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a very lovely prompt, seen here: http://dancaughthimselfonfire.tumblr.com/post/95074878856/dirtydirtychai-spiderjockey-soulmate-au

Dan was in kindergarten when he’s called to the nurse’s office.   
There’s been an accident.   
His father went to heaven.  
Dan can’t pay attention because the nurse has colorful posters on the wall and the jar full of tiny, plastic treasure chests for children who lose their teeth at school is only half full, and the red ones are almost gone.  
Dan wants to lose a tooth so he can get a red chest.

He doesn’t see his mother for several days, and when she comes back home, she looks exhausted, emotionless.   
Blank.   
Dan finds a blank sheet of paper and draws his mother on it with red crayon.  
He doesn’t draw a smile.  
He gives it to his mother, who stares at the stick figure, and then excuses herself to go cry in her room.  
Dan breaks the red crayon, smashing the pieces into the carpet with his shoe.

It’s in Home Ec when Dan sees it again.  
They’re learning to cook basic foods that week, today was spaghetti.  
Dan’s best friend, Ryan, is in the group across from his.   
Dan’s taking a break from washing dishes and joking with Ryan across the room when someone accidentally splashes Ryan with hot water.  
Ryan reacts instantly, grabbing his arm and screeching in pain, the sensation of being burned being unpleasant enough, but added to it that Ryan’s never experienced this feeling before in his life.  
The once unblemished skin is uncharacteristically red.  
The teacher rushes over along with the remainder of the class, who watch Ryan experience something they may never will in their lifetime: pain.  
One outsider to the group: Pamela.  
She stands next to a pot on the counter, filled with less boiling water now. Her hands are on her face, and she’s crying.  
Her face is red and she’s crying, she’s never felt apologetic in her life 

(this is because of her inability, as everyone else’s, to feel emotional, if Pamela could feel sad before she would have)

She steps up and volunteers to take Ryan to the nurse  
Dan sees them at lunch, together.  
Ryan’s arm is wrapped in gauze and Pamela is feeding him.  
Ryan’s dominant hand is around Pamela’s waist.  
Dan wonders if finding your soulmate is worth the price.

Dan meets a girl in high school he’s crazy for.  
Her name is Kelly, and she refuses to wear red lipstick like the others.  
Kelly liked to kiss in her room. A lot.  
When it was time for Dan to go, Kelly would pout and say “I miss you”  
Dan would smile and return the goodbye, but when he got outside her house, he couldn’t help but wonder if she still felt painless, too.

It turns out she did, because Kelly begins kissing Michael instead of him the next week.  
And Dan can’t say he felt affected by it.

And then Dan meets Phil, and he starts to hate the world.  
Phil makes him feel.  
Dan understands pain and anguish.  
He understands frustration and anger.  
He understands loneliness and sorrow.  
He understands why his mother’s world came crashing down around her when his father was killed.   
He understands the deep exhaustion that had been brought out of her with his death, because soul mates are hard.  
They’re loud, and they’re mean.  
Their face is red, the color Dan has learned to find pain in.  
When you fight with them, their voice fills the entire room and seeps into the cracks in your mind until you can’t even hear yourself think of arguments.  
When you move in together, you bump into each other and hit each other with furniture and empty boxes on accident.  
Dan learns that pain comes in more colors than red, but also purple, blue, and brown.

But Dan also learns that soul mates are soft.  
He learns about the stars, and comes to understand that so much can be found in the darkness.  
He learns about sunrises, that pinks and yellows are to be shared with the person you trust the most, that letting boys with beautiful ocean eyes convince you to stay up until 5am is only a good idea if you didn’t sign up for morning college classes.  
He learns that while it’s possible to get lost in someone’s blue eyes, they’ll be there to rescue you if you start to drown.

Phil proposes in December when the world around them is white.  
Dan’s hands and shaking from the cold, but Phil insisted on being properly romantic.  
Dan’s face is red from crying when he tells Phil “yes”  
Dan’s learned that it’s possible for colors to redeem themselves.


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As requested, here is Pain Killers, continued~

Solemates don't always agree

Society seems to forget that

Since the universe shattered like a struck mirror, their souls have been searching for each other

Billions of years of stardust searching for their other half, floating in space aimlessly

When they finally meet again, they reconnect with such force it awakens something in both people

But that doesn’t mean those people will agree on what flavor their wedding cake should be

 

They argue so much Dan is afraid the neighbors will complain

Most of their time nowadays is spent in separate rooms, apologizing to thin air about something they said or something it was too late to say

But it’s one day when Dan is browsing the internet

Of all things, he comes across a video of a kitten being saved from a drainpipe

When he realizes the lack of emotion he’s holding in his heart

He’s afraid he’s losing Phil

 

Dan can’t bring himself to even research what’s happening

He’s in Phil’s doorway in record time, all of the apologizes he’d been meaning to say spilling over and filling the room with a soft, suffocating air

Phil is already off his bed and holding Dan before he’s done apologizing, and Phil squeezes him a little too tight on purpose. 

And soon they’re both crying and they know everything is going to be okay.

(It ends up a bit ironic that the one thing they agreed on were the red roses)

  
  


Their friends and family are gathered around, golden sunlight softly illuminating the alter

Faces flushed from the cold air and open bar

Phil cries during their first dance, whispering  _ “we finally did it” _

Dan takes the time to thank every star in the sky above

As he takes his place next to Phil for the rest of their lives

He wonders what he did to be this lucky to experience love

 

They stayed close to home for their honeymoon

Silhouettes on a balcony, wrapped in a blanket against the sunset

Looking at the horizon as clouds of fire spread across the sky, devouring any streak of blue

They didn’t have to go far to celebrate their love

 

Everything they are can be found somewhere in their apartment

Inside jokes and shared passions line their bookshelf

Every surface has been taken over by a memory

So their lives are laid out for any guests to see

 

They’re sitting in the park when Dan has an idea

It comes from a little girl wearing a soft, red coat

Dan brings it up as they’re laying in bed, the darkness acting as his safety net

Phil wraps his arms around Dan and simply smiles into his shoulder

Dan can’t help but cry

 

Amy’s bright red and screaming, but the doctors seem to be thrilled

Dan is the first to hold the swaddled newborn, and he’s so careful with the pink bundle

Her eyes are a mirror image of Phil’s, bright blue and full of curiosity

And Dan goes back to thank every star in the sky above

He still can’t believe that he’s lucky enough to experience love

 

Amy is a beautiful little girl, to her Papa’s and the rest of the world 

Dan can’t help but fall in love with the rainbow of parenthood

Phil’s beside him every step of the way, holding his hand 

They spoil their little girl to ensure she feels special, as special as she is to them

 

She draws with crayons of every color of the rainbow

Dan tries to teach her that every color is beautiful and brilliant

And while she cant feel the purple and blue blemishes that appear whenever she falls down

Someday she might

And it’s always important to remember that every color deserves a second chance

Even red.

 

Milestones come in all colors, but Dan finds importance in the color red

Red faces, prerequisite to happy tears, pet funeral tears, and breakup tears (Dan wishes it would always be boybands and never boyfriends)

A construction paper card with red hearts on the front and a heartfelt message on the inside, brought home from being slipped into a locker on Valentine’s Day

Red Prom dresses, carefully chosen after hours of searching, right after an exhausted sigh and right before giving up all together

Even red roses in a corsage similar to those from their own wedding, specially picked out by Amy in honor of the two people who inspired her most in life

 

Dan tells Phil how he still thanks every star in the sky above

They hold hands on their front porch, the sunrise peeking at them over the London skyline

Phil looks up at the fading stars, asking 

_ “where do you find the time?” _

Dan replies, 

_ “I’ve been given a whole lifetime to do it.” _


End file.
